Little Old Asian Man

Today I was furious. I cannot remember why I was so furious, but in my anger I decided to be proactive. Do something that was going to make me feel good about myself. I wanted to go to a bar and get a drink alone, but realized I didn't have my debit card which made me even more angry. I was so heated I was sweating then I realized it was because the A/C wasn't on, just the vents blowing hot outside air IN my car which angered me even more. I turned on the radio for some encouragement...Mahalia Jackson...I love gospel but I wasn't in the mood for her slave like crooning at this moment of rage. I found myself pulling across two lanes of traffic into Pikes Peak Community College. I really didn't WANT to go inside I could just as easily have pulled away, because after all the sprinklers were on spraying the sidewalk instead of the grass which was the only way to get in...but I was so furious I figured I was gonna go ahead and go in. What the hell I may as well get even more pissed. I angrily slammed my door, angrily power walked into the building. 94 degrees on top of my fury made it 110 outside. In my anger I dunno how I noticed the little old Asian man, I kept looking at the group of losers outside the front of the buildings huddled up smoking even though the sign posted behind them clearly stated they were closer than the designated 50 feet. I really hate the smell of cigarette smoke and wanted to yell something witty at them but figured since it was a group of men I would be better off keeping my opinion to myself. I am always afraid someone will rape and assault me for saying something so I continued to walk. I noticed my underwear are getting to small due to the uncomfortable riding up my ass, either my undies are too small or my ass is getting too big but I haven't been on a scale so I have no idea. My stomach was growling I realized I had only eaten half a bowl of cereal which my son stuck his hand inside and finished the rest, which is probably why I felt so faint. Then I looked up and noticed a little old Asian man fighting so hard to pick himself up from the sidewalk. He had dropped his backpack and his cane had flown six feet under a vehicle. I noticed several people had briskly walked ahead of him. A police cruiser had driven by without even noticing him as well. I am trained to keep my eyes forward and keep going. He kept muttering something and trying to pull himself up. I get all these chain emails about seniors raping stupid women like myself. In that moment I figured why not, I'd rather get raped by him than the stupid people against the building smoking.
"Are you okay," I asked stopping just short of his reach as he continued to struggle he didn't look up just continued to try to pull himself up on the car he was clenching to.
"Yes. I'm fine," he mumbled still staggering to the pull himself up. He was trembling with all his might. I realized he couldn't rape me. I reached out for his cane, he nodded and reached for it. He gave a relieved smile pulled himself together.
'Do you need any help?' I asked. He mumbled no. I noticed all the smokers were staring I threw them a smug glare. They were even bigger douches. I hurried off seeing as the old man was on his feet and hurried past the spray of the sprinklers. I cannot believe people. I guess that is life. Ignoring the little old Asian man. I wonder how long he sat there struggling before my angry black ass came along? I don't know. I have no idea if that was a life lesson. It happened in all of ten seconds and I went about my day. As I was looking for the correct office to enter...behind me I heard a female open the door for the little old Asian man...what she said bothered me. She said, "I saw you out there on the ground, its a lot cooler in here, huh?"
WTF...she saw him on the ground and let him struggle there but was kind enough to get the door for him. Where was his family? Why was he at that school? I don't know. I guess I was at the right place at the right time today. I am glad to have helped him.

ramble

Sometimes I realize I am a world away from my family and friends even though I am in the same space as them. Where have all my buddies from childhood gone...my girls night out girls...my sisters...my battles...all have in some way or another pulled away into their own world...everyone is worried about someone and usually that is not me. Just random thoughts. I will come back with a more powerful blog...right now my mind is so jammed with thoughts.

Random

Stressing about the relocation of our family. A lot has gone better than expected...some has been very disappointing. But all in all I am confident that soon and very soon we will all be comfortable and happy. Right now its just a little overwhelming.