The Married Life...

When I was single...boy was I single...I had some interesting times. Some would call those times "fun" I can only classify them as "interesting"...because there were sometimes that were just down right awful. I had my favorite girls I loved to go "kick-it" with and I had my favorite places to go. Typically these girls were down with staying till after the club closed and were also not into "c--k blocking" so I always knew I was in for "good times" when I was with my girls. When I was single I loved being single and admired the cast from Sex In The City for being so liberal slutty and yet somehow classy and fashionable at the same time. I wanted my drunken partying to last forever, but then I started losing grasp of reality and control over day and night, which is why its not good to party until closing every night. Because then you need to go to after hours bars and then you stop wanting the party to end, and keep the party going by drinking constantly. I was always in an alternate state of mind, if my day if work was going rough I would go to the liquor store and fill up the largest cup I could and drink all day at the job. I was a mess. I kept trying to attach myself to people and to things to find my place...a place where I was the center of the universe. The place where I was important, wanted, needed and loved. I just wanted to be loved. I remember chasing after affection of men, hoping that someone would find me valuable enough to love. Every night I would go to sleep and wake up uncertain of where to go and what to do. Where would I lay my head next...I just felt like I was always running from life. Like I was killing myself with clubs and alcohol just to fit in somewhere. As a result of my running I ended up running to the Army and through a miracle in and of itself I met my husband. Who was a jerk at first to me by the way. Press the fast forward button and here we are a couple years into this relationship, this marriage, this partnership and where are we? Still in love. We have finally reached the point where we actually fight. Like take the gloves off and hit below the belt fight. Is this a good thing? Of course not,but because of the fighting it does make for a great make up session. When we are fighting we usually say what we mean....as mean as it can be and it serves to keep us honest when we have cooled down. I makes us check ourselves, it reminds us to love each other better and work a little harder on really loving one another. It makes us grow up...it makes us mature. Sometimes we have bad days, we are learning to balance that against frustration and selfishness. We are learning to make each other a priority and not just focus on ourselves our own wants our own needs. We are almost out of this phase of marriage and into the next phase. We are the typical married couple. We have a kid. We watch tv in bed. We have our favorite foods that are different. We are married. Its a simple life. We don't go out, we chill out we rarely drink, your average married squares....but I couldn't be happier because each night when I lay down my head I know who I am waking up with and I know he still loves me. I know when he tells me I'm beautiful he means it. I love this life. I do not grow tired of it. I enjoy every moment of it. I look forward to the next 2 years, 22, and then some.....